Developing your empathy habit.
“Hang on a minute,” my friend said as we spoke on the phone. I knew she was driving, so I wondered what was happening. When she got back on the phone, I asked “What’s up?” She told me she keeps bottles of water, granola bars, and food gift cards in her car. And when she sees a person experiencing homelessness, or otherwise in need, she stops, chats with them, and offers these items. Wow, I thought that’s next level compassion. I’m not sure I am capable of being that empathetic.
And it is true, there are some people who are gifted at being empathetic. But that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t develop an empathy habit.
Empathy has become a buzz word in the business world. A quick Google search for news on empathy in the workplace produced 58,000-plus articles. Companies have added it to their organizational values and have talked about instituting an empathetic culture within the business world.
But what does this all mean? What is empathy? And can we really develop a empathy habit, if we aren’t gifted at it? Hopefully the resources on this page will help to clear up what is meant by empathy, why it can improve lives and businesses, and how to develop an empathy habit.
Empathy is the act of understanding that an individual is not doing as well as they could be. Maybe a co-worker has a sick child or parent, or is having a tough time finding childcare, or is just having a bad day. But understanding is just one piece of empathy (otherwise it’s just sympathy), and we also have to put ourselves in our co-worker’s position. By doing this we gain a deeper understanding of what is happening, and are much more likely to act to help, assist, or lessen our co-worker’s burden.
I walked down the hall at work the other day, and stopped to chat with a colleague. Stella started to talk about how she just had to take on a time-intensive, months-long project. It happened so quickly that she had to be up to speed on the project in less than a week. Stella agreed to the project since she wanted to be seen as a team player, and it would help our collective work environment, as many of us had been doing this due to a staffing shortage. I could see she was overwhelmed and needed to talk about it. I thought about my own work, and how I needed to get back to it, but I also thought about how I felt in this same situation. I realized what might really help Stella in that moment was to listen, so that she would know that I cared and appreciated what she was doing. A small act of empathy.
How to foster empathy in ourselves when the world around us is so busy, and downright chaotic?
Slow down. We spend most of the time thinking and moving fast, and not noticing what is right in front of us, which can include a colleague in need.
Mindfulness. By slowing down we give ourselves a chance to be mindful of others and their circumstances. We can pay attention to the moment.
Listen. When we slow down and focus some of our attention on others’ circumstances, it gives us the room to listen more deeply to them.
Act. Think about what you can do to reduce the other’s discomfort, maybe it is just listening, asking to help, grabbing them a cup of coffee, or respecting their limits, time or job duties.
Recommended resources:
Harvard Business Review article on empathy: Making empathy central to your company's culture
